New Years means several things to different people. Some people hate it. They dread the ending of a year and the unstoppable beginning of a new one and they remember each heartache and sorrow of each year every time the countdown begins. Some love it, and can’t wait to start the countdown. Of those people who love it, they each love New Years for several different reasons. Some just want a kiss at midnight, some want a fresh start, and some want to end a particular chapter of their life.
I believe I fall with the majority when I say that I love New Years. I love the excitement and hope for a new year. New Year’s Eve shows the wonder and joy in humanity, as the whole world comes together on this one night to celebrate with anticipation of the pending year. Each person reflects on the past year and realizes how much can change in a year, and then they tend to begin to look forward with excitement. If that much changed in 2011, then just think where you can be in 2012…(be honest..we’ve all thought this)
Expectations of where you want to be by the end of 2012 begin to be to topic of most discussions and while this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I urge you to take a moment and enjoy the wonder around you. Don’t get caught up in the countdown and looking forward to days to come. Tomorrow will have enough for you to worry about, all you can worry about is now; today. Today is all that you can do anything about.
You can’t change yesterday, and you can’t alter tomorrow, because you don’t even know if you will have a tomorrow or what it will bring. Take time to love on your family and friends. The reason I urge you to do this is really for multiple reasons, but mainly this: Remember how you are looking back at how much can change in one year? In 365 days people can: die, grow ill, move away, say things they don’t mean, push you away, or just walk out of your life without a word. I know, that seems like a downer, but I’m trying to put this in perspective. 365 days is a long time. You need to enjoy THIS day that you have with those people that you love, because 24 hours is even a long time. It may be a vapor in the span of eternity, but it is a long time in the span of our short time here. So please don’t regret a minute of it and don’t waste a second of it waiting for tomorrow. Today is here. Don’t wait for 2012 to start getting in shape; don’t wait to forgive those you need to. If there is anything that I have learned since November it's this: life is way too short to be mad at someone that you love. And please, please don’t wait to tell that person that you hurt how sorry you are.
I know that there is hurt here that can’t be fixed by band aids and new years. Time cannot even begin to heal some of the pain that you may be struggling through right now, and I know that. Only God can heal those wounds. But live each day like it is your last. I know that sounds totally cliché, but I mean it. Be spontaneous, play a joke on one of your friends, be crazy, be YOU, have fun, LAUGH, dance, be free, LOVE, and if nothing else: LIVE. STOP saying tomorrow and start saying today.
I lay every burden down at the foot of the cross... Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty and wear forgiveness like a crown.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Feels Like Home
I must confess, I have always been a mama’s girl with a streak of independence. I’ve never really been a dependent person and I was labeled as the one that would leave and never come back by my family. Covington just never really fit, I suppose. Somehow when I left and found myself in Auburn, as soon as I crossed over the state line, I felt at home. Alabama feels like home. There is a true sense of peace that fills my heart when I’m there and there is no doubt in my mind that Auburn is where I’m supposed to be. So while I am “home” for Christmas, I am really more just with my family. I love my family don’t get me wrong, but I am not coming back to Covington unless my heart is changed drastically in my lifetime. When I am in Auburn I am surrounded by people who genuinely love and care about me. They don’t care about how weird or quirky I am… they just have open arms and hearts ready to love. It took me coming home and seeing some of my friends to show me how real and true my Auburn friends are. I have a support system that would go as far to sticky note a car with me or just simply pray with me. They are girls that are on fire for the Lord and love without ceasing and constantly push me to love more genuinely and to be more like Christ. It hasn’t always been like this, I started from scratch when I got there and the first few friends I made and invested in taught me not to trust so easily and that’s okay. All girls need to learn to protect their hearts anyways so I don’t regret any of it, but I firmly believe that each and every one of these girls were placed in my life at the perfect time. And I thank God for them every single day. The funny thing is I’m not entirely sure that they even know how they have each changed the course of my life. Here’s the thing y’all… I know I’m not the only person who would rather be alone and not have people “breathing down my throat” all the time, but we are called to have true fellowship with one another. We are not called to go through or Christian walk alone. That is why I am so thankful for this group of girls, because if I didn’t have them I would still be trying and failing to do everything on my own, and that should not be. How can we be effective if we are scattered and we have broken chains of fellowship? Lately, it kinda just hit me…you know those people that you know it’s best if you’re no longer friends with them? The ones that really only hurt you and by hurt I mean shattered your heart? Well, do you have this need deep down to be on at least good terms with them? I’m not saying you still need to be friends with them, but deep down you just can’t shake the feeling of wanting to at least be friendly acquaintances… Because I certainly have a few people I am like this with. I’m not saying to rekindle your friendship and everything will be fine, all I ask is that you do everything in your power to be on good terms with them. Especially if they are a brother or sister in Christ, because that is a broken link of fellowship if you do nothing about it and let bitterness build up to the point of no return. They may not want to fix it, but at least you know that it isn’t because you didn’t try.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14
I know that there is pain that I can’t even fathom in your heart. I realize that I may have no idea what that person has done to you, but bitterness is not of God, and for the sake of yourself you need to forgive them.
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15
You see, bitterness has a way of plaguing our hearts and it’s usually deeply rooted. Once it sets in, it’s like kudzu and spreads like wildfire. It's hard to stop and almost impossible to get rid of. Bitterness sets in before you ever even know it and I know it may take time and a lot of prayer, but you need to forgive these people even if that is all you can do for the situation.
I don’t want your home to be overtaken. I don’t want you to question if where you are is where you really need to be just because of a few people. There is no doubt in my mind that I am supposed to be in Auburn, but there was a time during this semester that I seriously doubted if I was right or not. Please don’t let that be you. Don’t let a handful of people control your life and certainly don’t let bitterness control you. Bitterness can destroy you before you know it, and it can annihilate almost any chance of forgiveness too…So just set yourself free and forgive. But don’t trust them, because trust, well, trust is earned.
Maggie
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14
I know that there is pain that I can’t even fathom in your heart. I realize that I may have no idea what that person has done to you, but bitterness is not of God, and for the sake of yourself you need to forgive them.
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15
You see, bitterness has a way of plaguing our hearts and it’s usually deeply rooted. Once it sets in, it’s like kudzu and spreads like wildfire. It's hard to stop and almost impossible to get rid of. Bitterness sets in before you ever even know it and I know it may take time and a lot of prayer, but you need to forgive these people even if that is all you can do for the situation.
I don’t want your home to be overtaken. I don’t want you to question if where you are is where you really need to be just because of a few people. There is no doubt in my mind that I am supposed to be in Auburn, but there was a time during this semester that I seriously doubted if I was right or not. Please don’t let that be you. Don’t let a handful of people control your life and certainly don’t let bitterness control you. Bitterness can destroy you before you know it, and it can annihilate almost any chance of forgiveness too…So just set yourself free and forgive. But don’t trust them, because trust, well, trust is earned.
Maggie
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Let's be Real
I know it’s finals, but be honest with yourself…
How many times have you felt like God wanted you to talk to someone this week and you just walked right by then trying to talk yourself out of it? How many today? Here’s the thing y’all. This has been on my heart for a while, forgive me if it’s not warm and fluffy.
If you pass by someone in the student center and think to yourself: “Oh, someone else will do it. I don’t know that much scripture, and God can use someone better than me…” then I am mainly talking to you (and me included... I do this ALL the time.)
1.If you don’t know that much scripture that is an easy fix: LEARN IT! Seriously. I mean, we learn song lyrics with such ease. We can learn chapter upon chapter of things that we don’t care about for a final, so I have no doubt that our our minds are capable of learning Bible verses. And not just bible verses, but chapters and books of the Bible. Also, not knowing “enough scripture” is no excuse for not talking to someone about the Lord. If the Lord is asking you to talk to someone He is doing this for a reason. He makes no mistakes He’s asking YOU for a reason, and he will provide the words to say anyways!
2.This is my main point. If you pass by that person thinking that someone else will talk to them and the next person thinks the same thing..what if everyone thinks that exact same thing and no one ever reaches that person? Hell is real, guys. It’s not the dark part of some fairy tale. It is real. And some people that we know and love are destined to a real hell and we’re too busy talking about the weather, our boy/girl problems, and just being flat out selfish in all honesty with our words and conversations. Someone we love is destined for a real hell and we can’t muster up enough courage to say something about it!? REALLY!?
Look at it this way:
If you’re dating someone and they don’t want to tell their friends about it or even family about you…would you have that much confidence in your relationship? Would you want to be a part of that relationship? NO! Let’s be honest here, we’d be ticked! We’d be thinking, “good granny! Are you ashamed of me?!” Well, in the same way when we don’t speak up that’s what it looks like to them. It looks like we’re ashamed of God.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want anyone to ever think that I’m ashamed of God. He breathed stars into existence, but still knows my heart and thought process. Not only that, but he understands my thought process! (which in and of itself is insanely incredible because I’m complicated) And not only does He know my heart, but he loves me anyways! And it goes even further than that. He loves US so much that He sent His perfect, sinless son to die for us. Nails were driven into his hands, God’s full wrath was poured out on Him so that we could live eternity with the Lord. Isn’t that amazing!? He did this for EVERYONE! Why would we ever be afraid to tell the whole world about that? That is true love. Just like we are bubbling with excitement about being in love we should be so overwhelmed by the fact that we are lavishly loved by the God of the universe! We should want to tell everyone and not hold back. So be bold. Remember that He will give you the words to say. (And also please know that I am preaching to myself…I don’t want you to think I’m doggin’ on ya or a hypocrite, because I know that I need to remember this too) Because y’all….Jesus paid MUCH too high of a price for us to shy away from his truth and precious, precious blood was spilt….The price is too high for us to pick and choose who to talk to.
I love all of y’all so so much!
In Him,
Maggie
How many times have you felt like God wanted you to talk to someone this week and you just walked right by then trying to talk yourself out of it? How many today? Here’s the thing y’all. This has been on my heart for a while, forgive me if it’s not warm and fluffy.
If you pass by someone in the student center and think to yourself: “Oh, someone else will do it. I don’t know that much scripture, and God can use someone better than me…” then I am mainly talking to you (and me included... I do this ALL the time.)
1.If you don’t know that much scripture that is an easy fix: LEARN IT! Seriously. I mean, we learn song lyrics with such ease. We can learn chapter upon chapter of things that we don’t care about for a final, so I have no doubt that our our minds are capable of learning Bible verses. And not just bible verses, but chapters and books of the Bible. Also, not knowing “enough scripture” is no excuse for not talking to someone about the Lord. If the Lord is asking you to talk to someone He is doing this for a reason. He makes no mistakes He’s asking YOU for a reason, and he will provide the words to say anyways!
2.This is my main point. If you pass by that person thinking that someone else will talk to them and the next person thinks the same thing..what if everyone thinks that exact same thing and no one ever reaches that person? Hell is real, guys. It’s not the dark part of some fairy tale. It is real. And some people that we know and love are destined to a real hell and we’re too busy talking about the weather, our boy/girl problems, and just being flat out selfish in all honesty with our words and conversations. Someone we love is destined for a real hell and we can’t muster up enough courage to say something about it!? REALLY!?
Look at it this way:
If you’re dating someone and they don’t want to tell their friends about it or even family about you…would you have that much confidence in your relationship? Would you want to be a part of that relationship? NO! Let’s be honest here, we’d be ticked! We’d be thinking, “good granny! Are you ashamed of me?!” Well, in the same way when we don’t speak up that’s what it looks like to them. It looks like we’re ashamed of God.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want anyone to ever think that I’m ashamed of God. He breathed stars into existence, but still knows my heart and thought process. Not only that, but he understands my thought process! (which in and of itself is insanely incredible because I’m complicated) And not only does He know my heart, but he loves me anyways! And it goes even further than that. He loves US so much that He sent His perfect, sinless son to die for us. Nails were driven into his hands, God’s full wrath was poured out on Him so that we could live eternity with the Lord. Isn’t that amazing!? He did this for EVERYONE! Why would we ever be afraid to tell the whole world about that? That is true love. Just like we are bubbling with excitement about being in love we should be so overwhelmed by the fact that we are lavishly loved by the God of the universe! We should want to tell everyone and not hold back. So be bold. Remember that He will give you the words to say. (And also please know that I am preaching to myself…I don’t want you to think I’m doggin’ on ya or a hypocrite, because I know that I need to remember this too) Because y’all….Jesus paid MUCH too high of a price for us to shy away from his truth and precious, precious blood was spilt….The price is too high for us to pick and choose who to talk to.
I love all of y’all so so much!
In Him,
Maggie
Friday, December 2, 2011
HEALING IS IN HIS HANDS
No matter where I am healing is in His hands.
I know first hand that healing is in fact in His hands. Even when the times when the rain is coming down so hard that I can no longer see anything in front of me. If there is anything that I have learned in my time this semester is this: Storms end eventually. Even big storms that seem never ending eventually end, but the damage from the storm is felt long after, and that is normal. Storms of life are the same way. When something drastic happens to you is when the self pity begins to set in, and the wall begins to build up, and we typically begin to push others away. I am just as guilty of this as anyone. This semester was one of the hardest times of my life. If you were to look at me and really look, you would begin to ask yourself... “who is Maggie close to?” Honestly y’all, I am ashamed to admit that no one was. I had successfully pushed every single person who cared about me away. They may have believed that they were close to me, but I had my guard up. I was holding all of them at least an arm distance away. I didn’t want anyone to see me in my “pot hole” as I call it. The most random song sent that wall crashing down in late October.
“No mountain or valley, gain or loss we know can keep us from Your love…No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands…”
The truth is, sometimes this song is my favorite song, but other times it is a hard song to listen to, because sometimes I get into the self pity, “if healing is in your hands, then why is my suffering still happening? Do you not see me? Can you not tell that I am in the darkest pit of my life? I’m hanging on by a string. Are there anymore curveballs that you want to throw my way? Honestly, I can’t take one more thing..” mentality. And I am sure that I am not the only person who gets into that kind of rut. When the unthinkable started happening and my life was yet again impacted by death. 3 people died too young. At least, that’s what I thought. (yes, I know God’s timing is perfect, so no death is too soon, but in my mind…all of them died too young.) Right after that huge hit, I had to end a friendship that was very important to me. (It was way too important to me, but that is another topic for another day) I was faced with the realization that I, as independent as I am, had become dependent, crippled even, by a person. My entire mood became based on a person’s mood and I realized that that had to stop. Long story short: October sucked, I couldn’t wait for it to be over, and I was dependent on God more than ever. I was clinging on to him for dear life. (I think this constitutes as a storm if you ask me….) Isaiah 40:28-31 became more true than I ever expected it to be in my life.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even the youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint. ISAIAH 40:28-31
When I get to the point where I am sitting in my room, having my self pity time I am reminded tha God not only sees what I’m going through…he is there with me. He’s not promising that everything will be okay, but he is promising that he will give me the strength to keep going…even when I don’t think I will ever have the strength and in that I realized that He knows exactly what he is doing
Even though I realize that healing is not God’s will for my grandfather’s emphysema, I do know that He has blessed me with at least 10 years longer with Pa than the doctors ever anticipated. It is a difficult pill to swallow, knowing that he is never going to be okay again…and that he is only going to slowly get worse and get closer and closer to death’s doorstep. The Lord has changed my heart in all of this. I am shocked, but my prayer is now just to stop his suffering and let him be at peace. It’s hard to watch him be in so much pain, and to watch him not be able to breathe. It’s always been hard, and it’s always been hard to see him do everything on his own, because my grandmother died 15 years ago. My prayer is that my mom and her sisters are able to see His face in all of this. Mainly, my mom’s younger sister, because I fear that she isn’t destined to spend eternity with the Lord in heaven. Which scares me, because I love her so much. My prayer is that my mom doesn’t have as difficult of a time going through all of this as she did when my grandmother died. And my prayer is that my grandfather can just dance with Jesus now. I love him so much, and I’ll miss him so much, but I just don’t think it’s not fair to pray for his healing and prolonged death. How selfish would that be? I mean…he could be in the presence of majesty healed for all eternity…and I’m busy praying that I can have him here, in pain, in a broken world for longer? That’s SO selfish! I know I’d much rather be in the presence of the one true God than to be down here in this world that is so full of death, destruction, and sorrow. There is no doubt in my mind that I will see Pa again someday when I enter the gates of heaven, so I should just pray for safe travel into the arms of Jesus. I just need to pray for my families healing, and my healing in understanding that he really is happy, because he’s with the Lord and Grannyma, waiting for all of us to join him. I just love him so much. But he’s going to be in the presence of the Almighty God, my father. Forever. How awesome is that?
So I end where I started….
“No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands…”
Maggie
I know first hand that healing is in fact in His hands. Even when the times when the rain is coming down so hard that I can no longer see anything in front of me. If there is anything that I have learned in my time this semester is this: Storms end eventually. Even big storms that seem never ending eventually end, but the damage from the storm is felt long after, and that is normal. Storms of life are the same way. When something drastic happens to you is when the self pity begins to set in, and the wall begins to build up, and we typically begin to push others away. I am just as guilty of this as anyone. This semester was one of the hardest times of my life. If you were to look at me and really look, you would begin to ask yourself... “who is Maggie close to?” Honestly y’all, I am ashamed to admit that no one was. I had successfully pushed every single person who cared about me away. They may have believed that they were close to me, but I had my guard up. I was holding all of them at least an arm distance away. I didn’t want anyone to see me in my “pot hole” as I call it. The most random song sent that wall crashing down in late October.
“No mountain or valley, gain or loss we know can keep us from Your love…No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands…”
The truth is, sometimes this song is my favorite song, but other times it is a hard song to listen to, because sometimes I get into the self pity, “if healing is in your hands, then why is my suffering still happening? Do you not see me? Can you not tell that I am in the darkest pit of my life? I’m hanging on by a string. Are there anymore curveballs that you want to throw my way? Honestly, I can’t take one more thing..” mentality. And I am sure that I am not the only person who gets into that kind of rut. When the unthinkable started happening and my life was yet again impacted by death. 3 people died too young. At least, that’s what I thought. (yes, I know God’s timing is perfect, so no death is too soon, but in my mind…all of them died too young.) Right after that huge hit, I had to end a friendship that was very important to me. (It was way too important to me, but that is another topic for another day) I was faced with the realization that I, as independent as I am, had become dependent, crippled even, by a person. My entire mood became based on a person’s mood and I realized that that had to stop. Long story short: October sucked, I couldn’t wait for it to be over, and I was dependent on God more than ever. I was clinging on to him for dear life. (I think this constitutes as a storm if you ask me….) Isaiah 40:28-31 became more true than I ever expected it to be in my life.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even the youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint. ISAIAH 40:28-31
When I get to the point where I am sitting in my room, having my self pity time I am reminded tha God not only sees what I’m going through…he is there with me. He’s not promising that everything will be okay, but he is promising that he will give me the strength to keep going…even when I don’t think I will ever have the strength and in that I realized that He knows exactly what he is doing
Even though I realize that healing is not God’s will for my grandfather’s emphysema, I do know that He has blessed me with at least 10 years longer with Pa than the doctors ever anticipated. It is a difficult pill to swallow, knowing that he is never going to be okay again…and that he is only going to slowly get worse and get closer and closer to death’s doorstep. The Lord has changed my heart in all of this. I am shocked, but my prayer is now just to stop his suffering and let him be at peace. It’s hard to watch him be in so much pain, and to watch him not be able to breathe. It’s always been hard, and it’s always been hard to see him do everything on his own, because my grandmother died 15 years ago. My prayer is that my mom and her sisters are able to see His face in all of this. Mainly, my mom’s younger sister, because I fear that she isn’t destined to spend eternity with the Lord in heaven. Which scares me, because I love her so much. My prayer is that my mom doesn’t have as difficult of a time going through all of this as she did when my grandmother died. And my prayer is that my grandfather can just dance with Jesus now. I love him so much, and I’ll miss him so much, but I just don’t think it’s not fair to pray for his healing and prolonged death. How selfish would that be? I mean…he could be in the presence of majesty healed for all eternity…and I’m busy praying that I can have him here, in pain, in a broken world for longer? That’s SO selfish! I know I’d much rather be in the presence of the one true God than to be down here in this world that is so full of death, destruction, and sorrow. There is no doubt in my mind that I will see Pa again someday when I enter the gates of heaven, so I should just pray for safe travel into the arms of Jesus. I just need to pray for my families healing, and my healing in understanding that he really is happy, because he’s with the Lord and Grannyma, waiting for all of us to join him. I just love him so much. But he’s going to be in the presence of the Almighty God, my father. Forever. How awesome is that?
So I end where I started….
“No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands…”
Maggie