Loving the difficult

I think we miss the boat when it comes to love. It’s because not only do we not know HOW to love, but we don’t know the difference between liking and tolerating someone and actually loving them. That’s what God has been teaching me these days…I’ve been learning HOW to love someone when the world around me would say that I have every reason in the world to not forgive them and to hate them.
When someone hurts you and all you can think about is the pain they put you through, the only way that you will ever forgive them is leaning on God. The only way that you can ever love someone the way that love is intended is praying every single day for God to teach you how to love them…and to change your heart towards them so that you CAN love them. Yes, someone may hurt you. They may have caused more pain than you thought was possible, but we are called to love everyone. We are not only called to love our family, friends, and people that are easy to love…but we are called to love the unloving, the hard-to-love, and the worst of our enemies. It’s not easy, trust me, I know that. It is so hard that the only way that you can possibly love someone like this is walking DAILY with the Lord and constantly leaning on His truth. I’m not going to try to come up with things that someone may have done or said to you to plague your heart with bitterness, but your heart is not meant to house bitterness. Your heart is meant to house the Lord. The God of LOVE! And the only way to love is to forgive.
But sometimes loving someone doesn’t mean that they are going to be in your life anymore. This Is when you have to take a deep breath and let the Lord heal you and carry you and love them anyways.
See, I used to have this friend. We will name them Smitty. Smitty taught me a lot about myself. He taught me how to laugh when it seemed that things couldn’t get any worse. He taught me how strong I really am. He taught me that sometimes friends hurt you, and fall to temptations of their own. He taught me that sometimes the purest act of worship is just standing silent in pure awe of what the Lord created. He made me so mad sometimes, but he taught me a lot. He taught me that sometimes all you need is a really lame joke. And he taught me that friendships are hard in many, many ways. He showed me the side of him that not many people saw..the worst side of him, but he showed me how good he could be too. You see…I saw the best of Smitty and the worst of him, but I chose both. When you are friends with someone you always have to choose both the good and the bad, because nobody is perfect. Smitty may no longer be in my life, but he taught me a lot. And I wouldn’t take back our friendship for anything…even if it would have spared me the pain and anger, because through the ending of that friendship I learned how to forgive and truly love someone the way we are called to love them. Loving someone isn’t about being in their life, it’s about wanting the best for them and actually caring about them…sometimes what’s best for them is just getting out of their life and allowing the Lord to work in them and change their heart.
You may think that you have every reason to hate someone, but think about it…Doesn’t God have every reason to hate you and turn His back on you? Love your enemies. And pray for those who hurt you, because God loves your enemies and you! Even when you were an enemy of God he loved you.
Again…love isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. If I had to choose between hating Smitty and loving him, I would choose loving him every time. Plus it takes more energy to hate someone and have bitterness towards them than loving them. Just saying.