The Restless Heart Syndrome

I think I’ve always been pretty restless. I’ve always seen the world as one big mystery waiting to be solved. I’ve just always felt the need to chase the setting sun, I guess you could say. If there was any opportunity for adventure, I’d run full speed ahead right towards it. I think that aspect of who I am sort of terrifies my parents... I guess I figured that three months abroad would cure me of running. Or maybe I thought that three months abroad would be enough to solve the mystery of the world. Whatever it is that I thought, this I know for sure: I have so much more to learn and there are many adventures out there. There are adventures that I may never get to experience, and some that I may be lucky enough to experience.

I am very blessed. I know that, but tonight when I was eating dinner I found myself listing all of the places that I’m not going to get to see before I leave for home. It seems that with every new adventure, I find myself with ten more things to add to my list. I mean, I’ve traveled all over Italy. I’ve seen more of Italy in two months than most would see in a lifetime. But, I still found myself thinking that I wouldn’t see the Amafi Coast, or run along the coast of Sicily, or even stand in front of The Last Supper in Milan. I won’t get to walk down the streets of Prague, or see the beaches of Greece. I mean…am I serious!?

That’s when it hit me. Yes, there are so many things that I want to see that I may never get to see in this lifetime. My restless heart will never be completely satisfied in traveling the world. I mean you could live in Rome for one hundred years and not even scratch the surface of what that city has to offer. So, obviously my heart would never be satisfied by travel. With this new realization, I realized that I would rather spend a lifetime chasing after the Lord than an adventure that I romanticized in my head. I mean, the Lord’s adventure is infinitely more exciting than I could ever plan in my finite mind. Even if his adventure for me is just getting married one day and having children as I try to work as a child life specialist, I will be ten times happier doing what He has planned. His plan is perfect.

I wouldn’t take this semester back for anything in the world. I learned a lot about others, the Italian culture, and I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve grown more in these three months than I have in the last two years combined. My eyes have seen some of the most beautiful creations that the Lord has made. I have seen ancient history right in front of my face. I’ve touched the Mediterranean and I’ve definitely tasted Italy. (Gelato, pasta, and pizza!? HELLOOOO!) This experience is one that I will always look back on. I will probably annoy my children one day with all of my stories. I am thankful that my parents allowed me to live my dream. Because if I had never lived my dream in this beautiful country, how would I know that I will never have enough time to see this great big world that the Lord has created...no matter how small we think this world is.