Loving the difficult

I think we miss the boat when it comes to love. It’s because not only do we not know HOW to love, but we don’t know the difference between liking and tolerating someone and actually loving them. That’s what God has been teaching me these days…I’ve been learning HOW to love someone when the world around me would say that I have every reason in the world to not forgive them and to hate them.
When someone hurts you and all you can think about is the pain they put you through, the only way that you will ever forgive them is leaning on God. The only way that you can ever love someone the way that love is intended is praying every single day for God to teach you how to love them…and to change your heart towards them so that you CAN love them. Yes, someone may hurt you. They may have caused more pain than you thought was possible, but we are called to love everyone. We are not only called to love our family, friends, and people that are easy to love…but we are called to love the unloving, the hard-to-love, and the worst of our enemies. It’s not easy, trust me, I know that. It is so hard that the only way that you can possibly love someone like this is walking DAILY with the Lord and constantly leaning on His truth. I’m not going to try to come up with things that someone may have done or said to you to plague your heart with bitterness, but your heart is not meant to house bitterness. Your heart is meant to house the Lord. The God of LOVE! And the only way to love is to forgive.
But sometimes loving someone doesn’t mean that they are going to be in your life anymore. This Is when you have to take a deep breath and let the Lord heal you and carry you and love them anyways.
See, I used to have this friend. We will name them Smitty. Smitty taught me a lot about myself. He taught me how to laugh when it seemed that things couldn’t get any worse. He taught me how strong I really am. He taught me that sometimes friends hurt you, and fall to temptations of their own. He taught me that sometimes the purest act of worship is just standing silent in pure awe of what the Lord created. He made me so mad sometimes, but he taught me a lot. He taught me that sometimes all you need is a really lame joke. And he taught me that friendships are hard in many, many ways. He showed me the side of him that not many people saw..the worst side of him, but he showed me how good he could be too. You see…I saw the best of Smitty and the worst of him, but I chose both. When you are friends with someone you always have to choose both the good and the bad, because nobody is perfect. Smitty may no longer be in my life, but he taught me a lot. And I wouldn’t take back our friendship for anything…even if it would have spared me the pain and anger, because through the ending of that friendship I learned how to forgive and truly love someone the way we are called to love them. Loving someone isn’t about being in their life, it’s about wanting the best for them and actually caring about them…sometimes what’s best for them is just getting out of their life and allowing the Lord to work in them and change their heart.
You may think that you have every reason to hate someone, but think about it…Doesn’t God have every reason to hate you and turn His back on you? Love your enemies. And pray for those who hurt you, because God loves your enemies and you! Even when you were an enemy of God he loved you.
Again…love isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. If I had to choose between hating Smitty and loving him, I would choose loving him every time. Plus it takes more energy to hate someone and have bitterness towards them than loving them. Just saying.

List de ligero

My friend Megan used to make these…it was one of the many things she left behind after she died three years ago. She called them “List de ligero” or "list of light" To get through the grieving process in eleventh grade I made my own list, and in doing so I discovered why she made them so often. Sometimes I get so caught up in the storms and sorrow that I am surrounded by, it doesn’t matter how big or small my problem is, it becomes my main focus. I know that I am not alone in doing this. I thought I would share my secret in getting through these “hard times” with y’all, because it was Megan’s secret and she passed it on to me. Now, I am passing it on to you.
A list of light is essentially what it sounds like. It’s a list of things that make you happy or smile…things that remind you of how blessed you are. It can be something ridiculous and stupid like a movie, or something breath taking like a sunset. It can even be a time of the year like Christmas…whatever it is that makes you smile, if you concentrate on things that make you smile long enough you realize that you’re beaming and that you are truly happy. You will begin to focus on things that make you grin instead of the things that make you anything less than happy.
So here is my happy list:

The sound of a child’s laughter
Funfetti
Cake batter ice cream
Cookie dough
Orange Roses
Sunflowers (Meg’s favorite..forever in my heart)
The perfect Chickfila biscuit
Sunsets
Clouds
Sunrises
The sound of rain on a tin roof
Pick up lines
When a guy smiles on the concourse and you know he’s smiling at YOU
My hair when it’s curled
When someone says that I look pretty even when I have no make up on
A clear starry night
Playing just dance with some friends
Mountain dew
Country music
A song with clever lyrics
Country Boys
Meeting someone new
Hearing “War Eagle!” thousands of miles away from Auburn
Passion Conference
Lame jokes
Laura Elizabeth Nolan
My sorority sisters
Initiating new sisters into Alpha Xi Delta
Seeing how excited girls get when they find out who their Big is
Samford Hall all times of the day
When a baby holds your finger
Auburn winning in any sport, competition, etc.
Georgia losing in everything every day
Christmas time
Easter
My cousin Vinny
Wearing pearls
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Art
Making art
Waking up at 8 am and realizing it Saturday and can go back to sleep
Being called Mags... or any other nick name
Making a new page in my visual journal and loving it
Knowing that I am saved by the blood of Jesus and lavishly loved by the King of Kings


See…it can be anything and I guarantee you, that if you do this you will be smiling before you finish. Make it as long as you want or need it to be to make you smile, but be sure to focus on these things and not the devastation in your life right now.

Glory to God, Forever

Sometimes when it rains it pours; but what do should you do when it looks more like a hurricane…and the devastation starts to take a toll? What should you do when the world is looking at you saying that all hope is lost? I only ask this, because, honestly, I’ve been asking myself that exact same question since the beginning of 2012. Right now it seems that no matter where I look there is pain to be felt in my life. If I look back on the past few months, I have gone through a lot more than I ever thought I would have to endure...but the neatest thing about everything that I have gone through in the past few months is that I can see God’s hand working. Last semester I went through a rough period. A time when I questioned if I needed to be in a sorority…and if I was even in the right one…a time when I questioned if Auburn was really where God wanted me to be… Today, as I sit in my dorm room I can say without a single doubt in my mind that not only am I in the perfect sorority for me, but I am also right in the middle of God’s will for my life. Auburn is right where I am supposed to be. I am right where I am meant to be. I’m not saying that my life is easy right now, because it is anything but that...being in the middle of God’s will doesn’t mean that there is less pain to endure, it just means that He is giving me the peace, joy, faith, courage, and strength to endure anything that that this world throws my way. I know that His mighty hand is what is holding me together during this time, and that even though I’m not sure exactly what He’s up to, I know that everything is for His glory. I think that knowing that is what makes it so difficult to understand sometimes. Sometimes we look at things and wonder how God could ever get glory from such terrible circumstances, but we must remember to trust God knowing that He is who He says that He is…and that He knows exactly what He is doing. And we have to remember that hope is not lost despite what the world tries to tell you.
“I have told you these things so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world!” John 16:33

SEE! So…where does my hope come from? It comes from knowing that Jesus Christ, who is filled with mercy and grace overcame the world…and because of that I will not perish but live eternally with the only true God. And it’s been so awesome to look back over this school year and see that God has been forming this really awesome friend group in my life even through this storm. It’s really funny how tangled my friend group seems on the outside, but how truly of God it is. I didn’t go out looking for these friends that I have been surrounded by…God put them in my life at the perfect time and it has been a true joy to get to know them…and to know that they are bathing me in prayer just as much as I am bathing them in prayer…so even in the midst of all of this chaos in my life I feel a peace in knowing that God is being glorified and I have friends that truly care about me. I’ve always heard people talk about finding peace like that…but I always questioned if I could find peace when my life started getting all messy…but I did, and I thank God for it. Praise the Lord!

And I will end this with my favorite friend quote. I think it’s my favorite, because I want to be able to help them through their rainy days just as they’ve helped me through mine.


"Friend, I want to share every single one of your sun shines and save some for later. I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard."

One Day....

this is my hubby checklist...here's the thing. I refuse to settle and i fear that people I know are settling for guys that they are with, because that's all they know.. I don't want it to be like that...We should guard our hearts and let Christ be the center of all of our relationships...and we should remember what we should look for in a guy.


There are several reasons that I made this list that I am about to post…
1. Well, sometimes I tend to forget what I am waiting for. I am not the type of girl who settles… and you shouldn’t be either.
2. I know that girls are forgetting what they deserve in a man…what they should be able to expect from a man.
3. I made this list to constantly remind myself that God should be the center of relationships… and if God is the center of my relationships then I will never have to settle for less than this in a man.

So….here it goes. My personal “hubby check list” (You may have other things that you may want…but this is what I want in a husband) And I am not going to lie…I have this hanging up in my room…haha

1. A man who first and foremost desires to know Gods heart and seeks his presence daily.
2. A man who realizes that God deserves all of His attention so He gives it all to God.
3. A man who is passionate in all of his works
4. A man who will protect my heart.
5. A man who is intelligent yet humble of Gods gifts to him.
6. A man who is forgiving and full of mercy.
7. A man who knows how to work hard, but doesn’t get lost in finding success.
8. A man with a heart for worship, unafraid to cry in the presence of the King.
9. A man who will wholeheartedly love me and our children.
10. A man of dignity and honesty.
11. A man who is wise discerning and can lead me spiritually and is sensitive to the spirit.
12. A man who is able to laugh at his mistakes and can ultimately move on.
13. A man who doubles as a comedian.
14. A man who is unafraid to push me to be better, and encourages in a time of need.
15. A man who will care about me and never forget to tell me how much he loves me.
16. A man who respects my body and values my purity.
17. A man with a heart for missions.
18. A man who embodies the fruits of the spirit and has a heart for serving the Lord.
19. A man who appreciates the little things.
20. A man who will love me as Christ loved the church.
21. A man with character who doesn't just make promises...but KEEPS them.

Okay….so I know that all of these qualities aren’t always going to be present because everyone is human, but they should strive for this daily…and WE must strive to be the woman worthy of this man. It’s time for the boys to STAND UP and be men…and it’s time for us as women to NOT SETTLE

Do you believe in miracles?

I do. I’ve been praying for one for fifteen years now, and I never actually got it, but I still believe. Miracles happen every day. Children are born, people are healed, and I take a breath every second and every single breath is a miracle in and of itself. So, do I believe in miracles? Of course I do. The other night, as I was lying on my back tangled up in a vine playing man hunt with some pretty great new friends, I found peace. I was looking up at the stars laughing at some of the things Pa used to say. (…“Boys…” he’d say…yeah…I was one of the boys, but I didn’t mind one bit) I realized as I laid there in silence that I did get my miracle…I got 15 years with my grandfather. 15 years to pray for that miracle, 15 years to listen to him and visit him.. 15 years to learn from him. I got 20 years to love him…and every single day that I got to love Pa...well, that was a miracle. And I thank my God for every single time I remember him, and every time I got to say, “I love you.” And…for every single breath that he was able to take. Because every single breath he took was a miracle in and of itself. The last thing he said to me was, “I love you, baby.” And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am blessed that my last memory of him I got to tell him that I love him....I miss him so much already, but it was time for him to go home and be with Grannyma again.