Feels Like Home

I must confess, I have always been a mama’s girl with a streak of independence. I’ve never really been a dependent person and I was labeled as the one that would leave and never come back by my family. Covington just never really fit, I suppose. Somehow when I left and found myself in Auburn, as soon as I crossed over the state line, I felt at home. Alabama feels like home. There is a true sense of peace that fills my heart when I’m there and there is no doubt in my mind that Auburn is where I’m supposed to be. So while I am “home” for Christmas, I am really more just with my family. I love my family don’t get me wrong, but I am not coming back to Covington unless my heart is changed drastically in my lifetime. When I am in Auburn I am surrounded by people who genuinely love and care about me. They don’t care about how weird or quirky I am… they just have open arms and hearts ready to love. It took me coming home and seeing some of my friends to show me how real and true my Auburn friends are. I have a support system that would go as far to sticky note a car with me or just simply pray with me. They are girls that are on fire for the Lord and love without ceasing and constantly push me to love more genuinely and to be more like Christ. It hasn’t always been like this, I started from scratch when I got there and the first few friends I made and invested in taught me not to trust so easily and that’s okay. All girls need to learn to protect their hearts anyways so I don’t regret any of it, but I firmly believe that each and every one of these girls were placed in my life at the perfect time. And I thank God for them every single day. The funny thing is I’m not entirely sure that they even know how they have each changed the course of my life. Here’s the thing y’all… I know I’m not the only person who would rather be alone and not have people “breathing down my throat” all the time, but we are called to have true fellowship with one another. We are not called to go through or Christian walk alone. That is why I am so thankful for this group of girls, because if I didn’t have them I would still be trying and failing to do everything on my own, and that should not be. How can we be effective if we are scattered and we have broken chains of fellowship? Lately, it kinda just hit me…you know those people that you know it’s best if you’re no longer friends with them? The ones that really only hurt you and by hurt I mean shattered your heart? Well, do you have this need deep down to be on at least good terms with them? I’m not saying you still need to be friends with them, but deep down you just can’t shake the feeling of wanting to at least be friendly acquaintances… Because I certainly have a few people I am like this with. I’m not saying to rekindle your friendship and everything will be fine, all I ask is that you do everything in your power to be on good terms with them. Especially if they are a brother or sister in Christ, because that is a broken link of fellowship if you do nothing about it and let bitterness build up to the point of no return. They may not want to fix it, but at least you know that it isn’t because you didn’t try.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14
I know that there is pain that I can’t even fathom in your heart. I realize that I may have no idea what that person has done to you, but bitterness is not of God, and for the sake of yourself you need to forgive them.
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15
You see, bitterness has a way of plaguing our hearts and it’s usually deeply rooted. Once it sets in, it’s like kudzu and spreads like wildfire. It's hard to stop and almost impossible to get rid of. Bitterness sets in before you ever even know it and I know it may take time and a lot of prayer, but you need to forgive these people even if that is all you can do for the situation.
I don’t want your home to be overtaken. I don’t want you to question if where you are is where you really need to be just because of a few people. There is no doubt in my mind that I am supposed to be in Auburn, but there was a time during this semester that I seriously doubted if I was right or not. Please don’t let that be you. Don’t let a handful of people control your life and certainly don’t let bitterness control you. Bitterness can destroy you before you know it, and it can annihilate almost any chance of forgiveness too…So just set yourself free and forgive. But don’t trust them, because trust, well, trust is earned.


Maggie